While doing our Fan the Flame Marriage Intensives for Christian couples who want to save their marriages … we’ve heard a lot of interesting reasons why they thought about ending their relationships. Here’s a few …
- “We’ve drifted apart.”This classic cop out says “we’ve lost those loving feelings;” and we’re too lazy to work to bring them back … it’s easier to find a new lover than it is to rekindle our marriage” Wrong! Not only is this unbiblical … but research reveals that it is easier to re-kindle an existing marriage than it is to create a new one.
- “We fight all the time.” Conflict is a good thing … it shows that there is an emotional connection! We rarely fight with people we don’t have a relationship with … we want them to see things our way. Learning how to resolve conflicts actually builds intimacy … even if it means we’ve learned something new that upsets our spouse!
- “We flunked counseling!” Counselors are not magicians! Be patient. Realize that the issues in your marriage have been festering for years and won’t be fixed in three or four sessions.
- “My parents never approved!” I’m amazed when parents want to break up their kid’s marriages! Genesis 2:24 says a man should “leave his father and his mother, and cleave to his wife.” Couples who can effectively distance themselves from parental control will reap the rewards of a stronger marriage.
- “We were young and foolish!” Young couples in love can make unwise decisions! So, you parents reading this … urge your kids to get pre-marital counseling. Be sure they are confronted with the fact that marriage is a lifelong adult commitment.
- “God told me to marry someone else.” This is absurd … but I have heard it from a former pastor. Listen, God will never tell you to do something that clearly contradicts the Bible!
If you’re having marital problems, and think divorce is your only option, stop and take a deep breath. Ask God to give you His counsel—and seek help from Christian friends.
Our Heavenly Father’s love and mercy may surprise you.