4 Questions to Becoming a Better Spouse

devotional_becoming a better spouse.jpgLiving in a world of crumbling marriages, you’ve probably asked yourself the question: “Am I a good spouse?”  If you are like me you say, “I am better than average,” … but what does that mean?  And, do I only want to be just better than average?  The real question is, “How I can become the best spouse?”  So, here are four questions that will help you answer that big one:

Am I keeping my spouse my top priority?  It’s too easy to put our jobs, kids, hobbies or anything else into the top priority slot of our lives.  When we neglect our spouses … we’re setting them up to look for attention somewhere else.  The follow up question to this one is, “If there is something in my life more important to me than my spouse … is that person, place or thing worth losing my marriage over?”

Am I still actively pursuing my spouse?  Many of us look at marriage as a “check the box” activity.  We get married … check the box … and move onto our next life goal.  To be a great spouse we need to keep actively wooing our mates.  Keep flirting, dating … and doing things that we did to win his or her heart before we were married.  Follow-up question, “What can I do today to win the heart of my spouse?”

Am I sharing more than I am hiding?  After years of marriage, couples easily fall into boring routines.  Heart-to-heart conversations quickly fade into mundane chitchat about day-to-day things.  Great spouses never give up on sharing their hearts with one another.  We need to get passed the, “How was your day?” and start opening up about what we’re really thinking and feeling.  Follow up question:  What’s an issue on my heart right now that I need to share with my spouse?”

Am I protecting myself from things that can harm or kill our marriage?  Our culture is filled with enemies who seek to destroy marriages.  Addictions, strong anti-marriage messages from family, friends and media, and selfishness top the list.  Don’t let a lack of personal discipline and self-control kill your marriage.  Follow up question, “What are you doing to guard against these invaders?  Who is holding you accountable?”

I hope that these four questions (and their follow-ups) will put you on the path to becoming the best spouse you can be!

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